Ok, so there are bigger niggles in life

But two questions are bugging me right now, as I try to live life as a cyclist who doesn't arrive in work soaked from a sudden downpour:

1) why is it impossible to buy an item of stylish rain-wear... y'know, something that doesn't look like it was rejected by Gyles Brandreth for being unutterably unfashionable; and

2) even if I accept I must of necessity compromise my designer trendiness, and meekly submit to doudy dryness, why do rain-ponchos only come with short sleeves? Is it too much to ask that, having sacrificed all street-cred for the sake of practical comfort, my forearms should still get wet?

If only I could get a chauffeur to drive behind me with a change of clothes, life would be so much easier.

You say coke I say caine*

I recently bought a bike. In itself, that is (I readily accept) pretty uninteresting. What intrigued me, a little at any rate, was my rationale.

I don’t drive, do not own a car, have never driven one. Having lived within a mile (at most) of Oxford’s city centre since I was 18, I’ve rarely had the need. I’m sure if I had one I would use it, but - to quote that most abstemious of self-denying clichés - what you’ve never had you don’t miss.

But since my student bike departed for the great rack in the sky, years ago, I’ve not cycled, instead relying on foot or bus. My flat is some 15 minutes’ walk into town, just under 30 minutes into work. Not a great distance, by any means, but I’m sufficiently impatient for an hour-long daily commute to irritate me (even after I bought my iPod). Catching a bus cut my journey-time by roughly one-third.

But buses in Oxford are not cheap (not much is: that’s the price you pay for living in a great city). I used to pay £44 a month for my 4-week PlusPass.

Then (and here I reach, not before time, the point of this posting) in November they increased the price by £2. Less than 5%, which, considering the recent increases in fuel costs, is by no means unreasonable.

But it was enough.

They had stretched my personal price elasticity to snapping point, and beyond. £44 a month I could tolerate; £46 I couldn’t. A new bicycle was purchased for the cost of six months’ PlusPasses.

The result? On the plus-side, my daily commute is now just 20 minutes. The debits are that I have had to learn the code of the cyclist:

• traffic lights do not apply to us;
• hand signals are unnecessary;
• lights, even in winter, are an optional extra;
• pavements are part of the highway; and
• weaving between cars is de rigeur.

I’m still a beginner, and have yet to master all these techniques.

* in case you're wondering why the title, click here.